thoughtsrare

  • Thoughts on Child-Like Imagination and Play in Story- Creating

    Not too long ago a friend and I were chatting while perusing an antique store. We discovered a mutual interest in stories previously and the topic of, if you were to create a movie show, what would the story be? Amid admiring old jugs, 1950s hats, and records, we started to dream up a story concept that, if counseling doesn’t work out for us, my friend joked that we should make this TV show. Since then we’ve talked about this story concept, and that has surprised me–I didn’t think that this story concept would survive for long.

    Perhaps my cynicism is due to my failure in sticking to my stories. Things sound great, you have a concept, and then it fizzles out for a variety of lame reasons. What has struck me though, is my friend’s enthusiasm for this story. She already has great energy and talking with her has reminded me of when I was kid, back when I let myself be swept away by the crazy stories I could come up with. Back then I occupied a creative space of unfettered imagination and was totally unselfconscious and bold.

    I was reminded of something I heard before, something about the importance of play. And out of curiosity, I googled the importance of play in adults. Apparently, there are a host of benefits to incorporating play into one’s life, those mostly being improvement in physical and mental health. There’s a book that sounds interesting by Stuart Brown, M.D., “Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul”, which you can find at the National Institute of Play website.

    There’s nothing wrong with playing and brainstorming wild stories, if anything, it’s necessary in bringing some joy to adult life. Life has been feeling somewhat heavy lately, and stepping back to just be and play with thoughts and ideas for a minute helped.

    So, sometime this week I’m just going to play with some story ideas, and not be so serious and uptight about it.

    I hope you can do the same, and reconnect with the way you used to find joy and feel free.

    Pax 🙂

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  • Thoughts on Stretches of Writing Silence

    It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t written poetry in quite some time. No jots of quick little lines, no run on jumbles of thought barely connected by a sense of theme. Nothing, really. The only things I have written are emails and written assignments.

    Long stretches of silence, dry spells. Not writer’s block because there is nothing being blocked.

    Have you ever had that? Long spells of little to no writing sometimes punctuated with, “yes, this thought or feeling, surely I’ll write it down.” But then never do. The notion is there, but no follow through. Then time and time goes by and there is a sensation of a dry, cool wind drifting amid the tombstones of your thoughts.

    I’ve had a lot of life changes over the last few months and it can be argued I haven’t had the time. I’ve entered a stage of my life where writing assignments is a thing again and my weeks are full of school things.

    But isn’t it part of the writer’s code, or mantra? Write everyday?

    Maybe I’m a failed writer. I haven’t been writing and some part of me just feels like I can’t, or there’s something missing.

    It’s hard to put into words. But it does feel like silence. It feels like mulling new and old thoughts over and over.

    Is this a silence to be broken with a shout? Or the type of silence of a blooming flower?

    I don’t know. Real talk, I haven’t been making my writing a priority. The most important thing a professor once told me was writing begets writing. And so, I shouldn’t be surprised I haven’t been writing because I simply haven’t.

    But I do think that writing goes through a sort of incubation period; one where the thoughts live for awhile inside your head, biding their time. However, expecting them to come out on their own is unrealistic. Thoughts incubate, but they also have the potential to whither away into non existence until all is left if a vague impression.

    So I’m afraid that all I’ll have in my head is unmarked tombstones in a desert of unwritten silence.

    That said, I feel more hopeful having written even this piece. Sometimes I think the things we write serve purposes apart from the ones we think we are writing to or from. I believe we reveal, or self disclose, with even the smallest things we write about. And that is part of writing too, isn’t it, to discover something new about ourselves? I think Joan Didion said something about that, or some other writer.

    The point, I think, is to not be afraid or become frustrated with the long stretches of writing silence. Things take their time, and when the time is best to do things, we must learn to recognize and act. It’s a hard process; I find it difficult to act in most circumstances.

    There’s also life to contend with. Sometimes things just have to line up, makes sense or give a sense of peace before one can relax and just write.

    That’s what I am hoping anyway–to have the time and sense of security that I can plan and write my heart away.

    I feel like there is way more to say about this, but I’ll end it here. Let me know your thoughts.

    Thanks for being here. Pax 🙂

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  • Thoughts on Cormoran Strike Series: #1 “The Cuckoo’s Calling” by Robert Galbraith

    I first heard of this series by Robert Galbraith aka J. K. Rowling, by a friend who posted on her instagram. I always admire her reading lists and so decided to take up this series, although mystery is not a genre I gravitate to.

    If you are unfamiliar with this series, it follows a private detective, Cormoran Strike. Apart from his unique and catchy name (which is part of Strike’s interesting backstory), Cormoran is a completely likeable-unlikeable protagonist.

    We are introduced to the burly, brusque, and unconventional private investigator in the first installment of the series: “The Cuckoo’s Calling”. Strike is struggling in his business: he has next to no clients and his bad financial state is compounded by his disability and poor health habits. Enter Robin Allacott; a young bright woman sent by a temp agency to assist Strike for a short time.

    It happens that a desperate man comes to Strike with a case: to solve what he thinks is the murder of his famous younger sister. Strike is hesitant to accept this case on moral grounds–the man seems quite unstable and conspiratorial, as the police have already ruled the death of his sister a suicide. Yet, Strike needs the money. So, he agrees to take the case, plunging into the world of the rich and famous.

    It has honestly been a bit since I last listened to this audiobook (I’ve been listening to the series through audiobook so far) and since this is a mystery, I am going to be scant in my thoughts, least I get something wrong or spoil something.

    Once upon a time, in a far away land, I took a detective story course (I forget the exact name, it’s been so long). In that course we read a variety of sub genres under the umbrella of mystery from Wilkie Collins to Ian Rankin. The main detectives in these stories usually have unique personalities and prominent quirks that are made to stick with you. If the mystery does not interest you (which is rare) then the idiosyncratic or enigmatic detective will.

    Strike made the biggest impression on me while I read this book. He’s a mess, not handsome, and has a gruff personality. But totally likeable though. When it comes to writing character the advice is to give them flaws. If everyone is a perfect snowflake all the time, then the readers will have a reason to hate your characters with a passion. Fortunately for Strike, he is riddled with flaws. That’s what makes him real and authentic. Instead of being this infallible big-brain, Strike contends with real life problems and has a tanker-full of trauma.

    The second thing that captivated me was the interviews. Rowling has such an intriguing way of writing character descriptions, it is truly delightful. They read so real, interesting, and unique. I’ve been taking mental notes on how to describe someone to impress such a clear, mental picture in a reader’s brain.

    I will say that I got kinda lost in the whole detective-ing process. I had zero clue as to what the solution was. I was so wrapped up in trying to keep up, that I lost track of Strike’s method and how he could be deducing the truth of the mystery.

    The end took me by surprise, which was great. I was dead wrong in the theories I had come with while reading the book. Reveals in mysteries are the perfect way to display the detective’s smarts and cunning, holding the reader captive and in awe. That said, the reveal of “The Cuckoo’s Calling” was tense and had me in a choke-hold for sure.

    In the end I gave “The Cuckoo’s Calling” 3.5/5 stars. There are some clever twists and a feeling of building anticipation that I literally could not stop listening to this audiobook. Strike made the book for me, as well as the visceral character and smell descriptions. *

    *side note: I read somewhere that writers should always write the 5 senses but should focus or hone at least 2 senses in their writings. My theory is that Rowling is really good at writing scent descriptions. Several times in this novel, and in the later ones, she uses scent to describe someone and it is so unique and/or unusual, it adds to characterization.

    As soon as I finished this book, I knew this was a series that I was going to love. I already have collected the hardcover of this book, and am pleased to have it as part of my collection to reread some day 🙂

    What are your thoughts on Cormoran Strike, his likeable-unlikability, or on “The Cuckoo’s Calling” in general?

    Thanks for being here, Pax 🙂

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  • Cormoran Strike Read-Along/Review: #2, The Silkworm

    The macabre is surely seeking out Strike as it grows in intensity with each installment of this series. A missing author with a distressing and bizarre writing style; a close den of writers and editors twisted by ambition and jealousy: all these drawn to what makes great writing and to a twisted net of lies, deceit, and mangled ambitions.

    Aside from the fascinating metaphor that spins this story, it is the characters who bring this sort of desperate imagery to life. A Silkworm is boiled in water to harvest its fruits. I feel like there is some social commentary in there somewhere, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. There are many ways to interpret this story, but of course, only deciphering it through the eyes and mind of the ultimate guilty.

    Robin’s character is fleshed out a bit in this one as she takes more of an assistant detective role due to her own natural merit. I will say, though, that it does seem a bit unrealistic that Robin is so ‘in love’ with the job. Especially since the nature of her particular job is creating some significant tension with Matthew. But there is a setup here so some proceedings do feel a bit pat, and makes the characters a bit obtuse (at least in this second book).

    Again I was a bit lost with the detective-ing of the book. I find that I struggle a bit to follow the dialogue in audiobooks, as well as fail to make connections. Anybody else struggle with this? It’s easier to follow along with an audio fantasy, but maybe that’s because I am more used to reading fantasy.

    Anyway, one of these days, I will buy all the physical copies of these books. I already have “The Cuckoo’s Calling”.

    Did I find the ending/grand revelation a tad anti-climatic? Well just a little . . . I think I was expecting a bigger splash. However, there was one of the clever things that I, um, ~figured out~ before. That is my greatest achievement that I made that connection–again, being vague to avoid spoilers.

    I gave this a 3/5 stars, I think, mostly due to Strike and the characterization. I think I was too disturbed by some things to give this a 4 (lol), but this is nothing compared to what is coming next! Haha, just kidding. But I will see you in that blog post when I review “Career of Evil”.

    Thank you for being here.

    Pax 🙂

  • Gallant: Delightful Gothic Read

    In December, I finished Gallant by V. E. Schwab. Delighted by its intriguing cover artwork and its satisfying square shape, I knew as soon as I saw this book that I had to read it.

    Gallant is about Olivia– a poor voiceless orphan living at a loveless, grey and drab school for girls. She is summoned from this unhappy environment by a most unexpected letter from an uncle calling her home to Gallant. Previously believing that she had no family or hope for love in the world, Olivia leaves for Gallant with hardly any hesitations–save for one critical detail. A warning written in her late mother’s notebook: that Olivia would be safe, as long as she stays away from Gallant.

    Of course, Olivia does not stay away. She goes to Gallant in the hope of having a family. Her mother’s notebook is all Olivia has to call her own, with her mother’s cryptic–and mad–words engraved in her memory. Upon arriving at Gallant, Olivia is faced more than ever with the mystery of her mother’s past and with a hostile premonition of a family curse. Will Olivia decipher the mystery of her family that she previously did not know existed? And will the ghosts that live and linger in the beautiful yet failing halls of Gallant provide Olivia with the answers she so longs for? There is an evil encroaching upon the halls of Gallant, and Olivia only has so long to protect her new home.

    Right from the start, an orphan girl with little capacity for speech (as those around her blatantly refuse to even try to understand what Olivia is trying to say) and with an ability to see ghouls–horrible, vaporous, and haunting beasts–intrigued me from the start. The drab, grey, and awful school for girls with a long, wordy name is what I expect to see in a middle-grade book.

    However, as some arguments state, this book is not strictly a middle-grade novel. There are the familiar tropes of the school, orphan girl, mysterious past, and notebook, yet this novel can easily be read by both children and adults. I prefer to call it a middle-grade because the plot itself isn’t too complicated or gets gory (as I felt it had the potential to if it were geared to an adult audience).

    You have the heroine, Olivia, who has a sharply observant and critical voice and mind. I sympathized with her, as her attempts to communicate her thoughts are dismissed by the one person who can speak ASL by deliberately ignoring her. This leads Olivia depend solely upon herself in a new and unsettling place.

    Then there is the romance and mystery of Olivia’s mother, her notebook, and the peculiar inkblot drawings, which brings into question the state of her mother’s sanity near the end of her life. Olivia grapples with questions about what happened to her mother and has an ongoing identity crisis as Olivia encounters the memory of her mother and a family she never knew of scattered throughout Gallant.

    Accompanying the mystery of Gallant and her family’s tenuous past, is the wonderful garden. The description of the garden is one of my favorite things, with all the blooming tangle of flowers and the lush green of the grass. It really did give me secret garden vibes, especially when it came to the wall with the gate in the middle.

    Yet, despite this beauty, it too is tainted by something that seems to plague Gallant. While Olivia ponders her past, she is also met with hostility from her cousin, Matthew. He is an angry and gaunt little boy, the master of the house since his father’s death, who insists that Olivia leave as soon as he sets eyes on her. Matthew’s mysterious and concerning ill-health only adds to the feeling that something is very wrong at Gallant.

    Eventually, Olivia does discover what is going on at Gallant and finds out the critical truth about her mother amid a truly unsettling setting (which was great, I really like that part).

    The resolution did feel a bit quick and easy, but there were sufficient high stakes and in the end, it was a satisfying conclusion. I believe this novel is intended as a standalone, which is too bad as it is an intriguing world.

    Overall, Gallant is a worth-it read for me. It has a creepy atmosphere, bold heroine, mysterious past and an awesome villain. My only complaint is that I wish it was longer so as to get more of an immersion in the world.

    In the end, I gave this book 3.5 out of 5 stars–a metric I base purely on how a book made me feel throughout. I hope to have a more sophisticated and objective rating system in the future.

    Thanks for reading my review, and I do hope you let me know what you think of Gallant if you have read it or intend to 🙂

    Pax 🙂

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  • The Cruel Prince: Fell Fey and Court Cunning

    This book has been on my shelf for over a year. And then this winter I took it up on a whim– or not so much as a whim but that I thought it would be a quick read to complete my reading challenge. So selfish reasons aside, once I picked up this book, I managed to get through it fairly quickly(ish).

    The story starts when Jude and her sisters are kidnapped from their human life and whisked to fairyland by the fey who murdered their parents. Jude grows up learning a deep fear of fairyland but also cultivates a deep desire for power. Jude is then sucked deep into court politics and a treasonous plot. Never mind the compelling and cruel prince Cardan who seems to seek to undermine Jude at every opportunity, Jude also has to contend with equally deadly foes from all sides. Jude learns she can only depend on herself to survive the capricious ways of Elfhame– the only question is, what won’t she sacrifice?

    What I liked most about this book is the world. Books about fairies are a nostalgic genre for me: when I was younger, I loved visualizing gossamer wings and wild, animal eyes glowing through gaps of underbrush at twilight. The Cruel Prince has the magical element, but I do wish it was explored and made in vivid detail to get even more of the strange and beautiful world. I am big on setting descriptions, so that may just be a personal thing.

    The Cruel Prince is rife with the tension of the dangerous and capricious fey versus the vulnerable humans. Jade chafes against the power that the fey can wield over her. She hates feeling at the mercy of the fey, so she becomes single-minded in her pursuit of gaining more power for herself.

    Jade is not a likable protagonist. She analyses the usefulness of people, uses them, and then lets her conscience kick in. By the end of the book, Jade is well into her villain origin story. Yet instead of hating her for her near-blind ambition, you can’t help but admire how Jude has navigated her web of lies and board of pawns. The stakes are impressively high and the only question that was in my mind was, just what is Jude going to do next.

    The middle did start to drag for me, as the plot took a turn that I was not expecting. And I hope the second book follows up on the original promise made at the beginning of this novel (as it sounded like the kind of plot I like).

    The Cardan-Jude dynamic is just one relationship introduced in this story that is going to prove interesting. Every person has a specific ambition which turns into motive and it’s a bloodthirsty, scheming and manipulative time.

    At times it did feel like I was being spoon-fed information that I had to go back to see just where and how it was relevant to the story. Court politics has never been my personal favorite, and it does feel a bit overdone in the YA genre, so I’m just focused on the personal relationships and the setting., I But, I am genuinely looking forward to finding out what happens next.

    Overall, if you want a quick fey read and are a fan of Holly Black, undoubtedly, you have read this novel and its successors way before me. But on the off chance you haven’t read this book yet, I encourage you to check it out if it sounds interesting to you, and hopefully, we can talk about it 🙂

    Pax 🙂

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  • Doubts and Hauntings

    I thought I would try to enter a haunted Halloween contest put on by The Write Practice… but then I saw there was a fee and I knew that was the end of that.

    Yet, why not try and create something from the prompt, Haunted. Seems easy enough.

    Not easy. I usually love “spooky” season, but the magic dissipates little by little for me each year. Personal tensions, work, life– and I find myself unable to delve in and enjoy the crisp fall weather or the spooky stories I used to hold so dear.

    And now this short story. I found a spark of inspiration reading the first mass reading of Job chapter 3. That is a man of haunting, for sure. Haunted by the agony of life. Bit of a paradox. Most fear and dread death. Not Job. He longs for it; holds it as an idealized place of peace, freedom and rest as some would say of heaven. Just no longer being conscious is Job’s idea of peace.

    Job is haunted by life, misery of turmoil. There is no rejoicing in life for him: he longs to rejoice on his way to the grave. I have an image in my mind of emaciated Job, frail stick and bones dancing in the setting sun as a grave yawns before his weary, dusty feet.

    How much misery and suffering does one have to endure to crave death? Loss and more loss. How much can a human heart take until that human starts to feel less and less like himself?

    Haunted by the idealism of death. Of a dream to just cease to be and finally let the heavy, unbearable weight of suffering slip from one’s shoulders and then rest– rest and peace.

    But then the last verse of Job 3 really grabs one’s attention:

    “What I feared has come upon me;/ what I dreaded has happened to me./ I have no peace, no quietness;/ I have no rest, but only turmoil.”

    Neverending misery. Nothing is more horrible than not being able to stop pain. Good stuff, raises the hairs on the back of one’s neck. Hence, I found this chapter sparked something in my imagination, but alas I am storyless. Maybe I just need to ruminate on the haunting of Job more. There is something there.

    Anyway, I am afflicted by the doubt that I will be able to write something that is my own out of this.

    Something that holds the horror of an eternity on earth, something like what vampires experience: eternal youth means nothing when all you love is dead.

    I like vampires, maybe I could write about those.

    What do you do when you think you have something that could be a great idea but then pull up short?

    Pax

  • Geese and Thoughts

    Which is more difficult: to create adult friends as an adult or to create a writing group with writers?

    Hence this blog. I want this blog to be a space of sharing work and receiving feedback.

    I had written this poem as a queued post on my tumblr.

    It’s alright, or so I think. I wrote it when I had come back from visiting home, back in Alberta. 

    There is a lake that served as both a place of refuge and magic during my tumultuous and angsty teenage years. Beautiful walking trails and deep woods. The lake is long and oval and brings to my mind a smooth mirror that perfectly reflects the sky. In early dawn the Canadian geese come in the approaching crisp days of fall. 

    I hadn’t visited home in the fall this time around, but as I took a walk around the lake soaking in the familiar yet ever new sights, my mind made a connection between the geeses’ serene glide across the water to thoughts settling in my mind.

    Anyway, here’s an excerpt from my poem. 

    Perhaps how

    Geese, cold from norths away

    Settle onto mirror smooth

    Pre-dawn blue lakes

     . . . 

    Flap, propel and call, echoes strung on 

    Cool breaths of evergreen and granite

    And so drift up and away as leaves of memory

    . . . 

    So do dreams

    And thoughts

    Touch down in deep pockets

    In hushed, secret places

    . . . 

    Dwell

    And then so do fly away 

    At the breaking of the day

    I kinda go on and on in my original draft and lose the thread amid flowery language. Anyway, this poem is about thought, reflection, reminiscing, and melancholy. 

    But what I intend may not be what the reader derives. 

    Let me know what you think? 

    Thanks 😊

    Pax

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  • Hello World!

    My name is Hannah, and this blog is my attempt to create a space where my writer self can share thoughts and develop skills. It is my long term hope for this blog to have a sense of community, where I am not just casting sheets of paper into the void, but instead, to have some dialogue and interaction with fellow writers also looking for community.

    In short, this is my introverted way of networking. Well, that is the idea.

    A little behind the name, thoughtsrare. I received a small book from my God parents that has embossed the words, Thoughts Rich and Rare. In it, are collections of proverbs and encouraging sayings. It is a pretty book and the contents are intriguing and have given me consolation sometimes.

    My aim through writing has always been to find a way to transcend idle thought and instead think and write on things that are of real importance–which I define as things that are relevant to humanity and is about good and beautiful things.

    Yet, as I have been working on this blog, it has become inevitable for me to also write reviews about the books I am reading. As the popular maxim says, if you want to write, read, read, and read. And so, since I want to write, I read and from my reading I try to glean what beauty or interesting themes that I want to discuss here on this blog.

    Thank you for joining me. I hope you, dear reader and/or fellow writer, we can have conversations and encourage each other in the craft 🙂